I used to think my non existent memory was a bad thing.
I’d berate and beat myself up about it.
My best friend would recount yet another legendary escapade from our youth, remembering everything from outfits worn to the route we took to drive to the epic party, and I wouldn’t remember a thing about it.
What kind of person doesn’t remember their life?
And you know why?
Because I am so focused in the here and now, noticing everything in the present moment like it’s a fine work of art to be admired.
I pay attention to every detail of where I am today, not where I was yesterday.
I used to think that having a non existent memory was a bad thing, but when I changed my mind and started looking at it from the angle of the here and now, I realised that having a terrible memory can actually be a great thing.
When I walk my dogs I don’t just walk. I marvel at nature, I look up at the sky, I tune in my ears so I can hear everything from a bird chirping to the traffic on its way to work in the far off distance.
When I sit down for a meal I don’t just eat. I don’t shovel the food down thinking about the argument or sex I had the day before. I focus on the food, the blessing that has been bestowed on me. I breathe in it’s aroma, and when I take a mouthful I let it do a little dance in my mouth before I swallow it gratefully.
When I talk to a friend I don’t just talk. I listen, I mean really listen, without planning in advance what I want to say next. I look into their eyes, I make a concerted effort to make them feel seen and heard by me.
So yes, I may suck at the past.
But I am an expert of the present.
I’ve nailed being in the here and now, and that’s why I think my memory is so bad.
For me the past is gone, it doesn’t exist anymore, so why dwell on it and whilst doing so risk missing a moment in the now?
If I’m too busy reminiscing I might miss something, and in the immortal words of Aerosmith… “I don’t wanna miss a thing”.