I KNOW WHY I GOT CANCER.

Updated: Dec 25, 2019

I ASKED FOR IT.


I had an eating disorder, and during that time my life revolved around all things superficial and surface level. It was all about the way I look and comparing myself to the way other people looked. All my focus was on the outside and I completely neglected my inside.


I would say over and over again… I would rather get cancer than get fat.


And at the time I meant every word of it.


That’s how lost in the disease I was.


My eating disorder controlled me, and everything I did. I was so cruel to myself; it breaks my heart now to think about how horrible I was to me.


All that mattered to me was being pretty and slim, and that other people thought I was pretty and slim.


I didn’t have even a minuscule particle of self-esteem, and looked for affirmation everywhere except within me; which is the only place true affirmation can be found.


So yes, I said to the universe more than once, I’d rather get fat than get cancer, and the universe heard me loud and clear.


Sadly cancer was the only way I was going to learn self-love; the only way I could stop the madness and finally be kind to myself.


Cancer stole my exterior beauty, and by doing so it forced me to find my beauty somewhere else. That’s when I started looking within, and discovered feeling beautiful from the inside out.


It wasn’t an easy lesson…the hardest lesson of my life, and at times I still feel the urge to judge others and myself on appearance.


I don’t like that part of myself so I hand it over to my Higher Power and I ask for help.


I’m far from perfect but I do try to be the best version of myself I can be. I still have a lot of work to do…I will always have work to do…and I will always be willing to do the work.


Be careful what you put out in the universe folks, and please I beg of you, don’t be hard on yourselves.


Learn to love yourself unconditionally, and if you don’t know how I can show you… as I am now a true master of self-love.


#selflove #anorexia #bulimia #cancer #breastcancer #survivor #mentalhealth #breastcancer #cancersurvivor #spiritualsurvivor #hereforyou #stopthestigma #sexcancerandrocknroll #overcome #believe #beautywithin #loveyourself #bravenotbroken #mightytogether #bethedifference #workwithtoday #itsokaytotalk #7billionsizes #eatingdisorder #edaw2018 #nedawareness #selfcare #bodypositive

#selfcare #selfcarematters #learningtolovemyself #selfcarefirst #selfcaretips #selflove #loveyourself #putyourselffirst #youareworthy #selfloveproject #selflovewarrior #selfloveclub

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