I feel still. I feel at complete peace.
My mind is quiet; the voices and thoughts in my head have nothing to say. This is a strange new place for me, to the point where I actually question if something is wrong.
How crazy is that? I’m so used to the constant noise, so used to filling any empty spaces, making sure I don’t waste any time. When in fact that’s exactly what I’ve been doing…wasting time being constantly distracted. I never did truly appreciate the now, because I was never actually there. And now I am there, here, in the now, in this second, in this precious moment and it feels so wonderfully strange.
I can hear the distant traffic outside my window, far enough away to just be a soothing hum. I can hear my dog’s peaceful sleeping breath by my feet. I can almost taste the warm humidity that’s hanging in the air, waiting for the cool breeze to softly blow it away.
I’m here and right now, in this very moment, all is well in my world.
That’s the gift I received from my willingness to look within myself and find something deeper. I got here… to serenity and pure contentment… through teaching myself spiritual practise one small step at a time.
I am so proud of myself, and my beautiful broken journey. All the pain along the way carried me to where I am now.
In the midst of the darkness I would constantly lament, “Why me? Why do I have to endure so much pain and struggle?”
But I don’t need to answer that anymore because I know the answer why… to get exactly where I am today, to feel what I’m feeling in this moment, and to be the beautiful person I have grown into. The struggles were the roots that allowed me to grow.
I don’t know how long the quiet will last before thoughts start rushing and bouncing about inside my head again. For now I am just going to chill, enjoy the quiet and empty, and be grateful.