I never thought I'd make it here.
I didn't even know that this 'here' even existed.
I thought that's just the way life was, speckles of gold flake joy amongst a backdrop of angst. And I was okay with that because I didn't know there was anything better.
But I got it so wrong, so upside down and so back to front.
Now the backdrop of my life is a gold so bright that it overwhelms me in the most amazing way, and there are speckles of black flakes but they are few and far between. And what would life be without those scattered flakes of darkness? Unevolving (yes I just made that word up) and stagnant to the soul.
It's those brief moments of fear or pain that teach us the most, as much as we hate to admit it. The university of darkness is where I got my degree in love and light. I kid you not. So please, I beg of you, do not despair that currently your life is drenched in angst...we are taken there for that is where our transformation truly begins. Don't give up, don't give in, just keep going.
No matter how truly crap you feel write a gratitude list every single day...even on the days you don't believe you have anything to be grateful about! You do have blessings but your ego has deliberately hidden them from your view. So just dig around as if you lost your house keys. Look under the sofa cushions of your mind, open every drawer and rummage around...you will find your blessings.
Write them down every day and they will help you find your way to the gold backdrop of your life!
I use this app on my phone to write my gratitude list every night before I go to sleep.