The cancer misfit.

I'm a cancer misfit, are you?

After the hell of cancer I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.

Stuck in this no man's land between who I was the moment before I got diagnosed with breast cancer, and who I had become after going through the hell of cancer treatment.

Like I was lost in this in-between place, with no clue who I was or how to be anymore.

One moment I was this cool rock 'n' roll chick who partied hard, then I went through cancer, and I wasn't her anymore.

I didn't fit into the old version of me anymore.

I don’t fit into a pretty package anymore.

The realisation of that was too hard to bear, so when my treatment ended I fell into a very deep and very dark depression.

It used to bother me, that I couldn't get back to my old life and my old me.

It used to bother me so much.

But then I realised, the only way to embrace who I am is to let go of who I used to be; because whether I liked it or not that she just wasn't me anymore.

And now I realise.

I'm a cancer misfit and I'm cool as f*ck just the way I am.

I don't need to get back to who I was in order to be happy.

I just needed to take the time to get to know the me I've become as a consequence of the hell I've endured.

And when I did take that time, when I did let go of the past and get to know me all over again, I fell in love with who I am.

I'm a cancer misfit, not quite fitting in the way I used to, and I'm okay with that.

So stop trying to fit back into that boring square hole you once lived in.

You went through cancer treatment and you survived for f*ck's sake!

You’re a beautiful and wonky shape now.

A shape that is imperfect and awesome.

You don’t have to fit neatly into any hole because you fit in with me perfectly.

You’re different, and exactly the same as me.

So stop feeling alone, broken or less than who you used to be.

You're perfect.

You're a cancer misfit baby!



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